Networking: Opposites Can Attract

One of the Guerrilla Job Search maxims I live by is this: When in doubt, do the opposite.

Because, if most job hunters are suffering, why do what most job hunters are doing?

Example: If most job seekers are emailing their resumes and not getting called for interviews, why not try the opposite? The opposite of impersonal email (in my head) is personal hand delivery.

Or this: If most job seekers apply only for advertised jobs and flounder for months, why not go after unadvertised jobs? And the best way to do that is networking.

Now, as you know, typical networking is about as much fun as typical tax preparation.

So let’s dispense with typical networking and look at three ways you can make connections more effectively — and get hired faster — by doing the opposite …

1) Don’t Ask for a Job

Instead, try asking for advice. This is especially true when networking with people you already have a valuable connection with, your fellow alumni.

“Too many out-of-work university alumni are desperate. This is quite understandable. But desperation can work against you,” says Dr. Barry Miller, Career Services Director at Pace University.

Asking people you barely know for job leads will only drive them away. You’re stampeding a sensitive topic without first laying the groundwork, like walking into a restaurant and shouting, “Hands up — who wants to marry me?”

There’s a better way. “If you meet someone at a networking event, don’t dominate their time with your sad story — they will only try to get away from you. Ask for their card and contact them later, to set up a networking meeting,” advises Miller.

Your goal in connecting with someone is to schedule an informational interview.

Tip: In this economy, almost every employed person has been asked for an informational interview, so watch your language. Example: Ask to interview someone for an industry white paper, freelance article, or blog posting that you’re writing. You have a better chance of flying under the radar — and getting your informational interview by another name.

2) Help Others to Help Yourself

Why do most folks hate networking, anyway?

Perhaps because they feel like door-to-door salesmen, canvassing their neighborhoods and Outlook contacts, asking — literally or figuratively — “Can you help me find a job?”

Not surprisingly, this approach falls flat. Most people can’t or won’t help you.

But what if you tried the opposite?

In “Never Eat Alone,” author Keith Ferrazzi suggests that real networking is about finding ways to make others successful. With that in mind, you can approach people with this question: “How can I help you?” Big difference.

Do you think you might start more conversations, make more connections, and build a valuable reputation by giving to others before asking to receive? I do.

Think of the most-connected person you know, someone who seems to know everyone else. After talking to that person, how do you usually feel, happy or exploited?

Now, ask yourself this question after your next networking conversation: Is the person I just spoke to happy to have met me? If so, you likely said something to help them, which makes them more likely to remember you with favor … and help in your job search.

3) Play Harder to Get

Here’s a final idea: If the status on your social networking profile (Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, LinkedIn) says you’re looking for a job, change it to something like, “I am looking to meet people who work in financial services,” according to Dr. Barry Miller.

Why? Shouldn’t you be telling the whole world that you’re looking for work?

It depends. If that approach has produced job leads from your online networks, great. Keep at it.

Otherwise, consider playing harder to get. After all, it’s human nature to want what you can’t have.

You now have three ways to network from the opposite direction. Instead of asking for jobs — like everyone else — try asking for information, giving before you receive, and playing harder to get.

Whatever you decide, be sure to record your results over the next 14 to 21 days. Because you can’t improve what you don’t measure. If it works, do more of it. If not, change or stop doing it.

Now, go out and make your own luck!

If you’re in the job market and want to try something new, you can see Guerilla Job Search secrets caught on video and learn more here.

Related posts:

1. Three Networking Tips from the Pros
2. The Power of Networking… and Two Questions
3. Two More Job Search Frustrations
4. Two Networking Conversation Starters
5. Job Search Technology: From High to Low — and No